A bit of a tongue-in-cheek one to start the week: the ten commandments adapted for fountain pen fans.

  1. The fountain pen is mightier than any other writing implement. You shall not venerate the ballpoint pen.
  2. You shall not allow cheap knock-off copies of iconic fountain pens any place in your collection.
  3. You shall not speak harshly of your fountain pen, even when it unexpectedly gushes ink upon your paper.
  4. You shall not require any single fountain pen to labour seven days a week. You shall collect sufficient fountain pens that each one may have regular periods of rest and reflection within a comfortable storage case.
  5. Honour your father’s and/or your mother’s fountain pens and the fountain pens of all relatives, friends and acquaintances.
  6. You shall not break a fountain pen.
  7. You shall not be wanton with your fountain pen purchases and shall remain faithful to your vision for your collection.
  8. You shall not steal a fountain pen.
  9. You shall not accuse your co-workers of stealing your fountain pen.
  10. You shall not covet the fountain pen collections that your friends share on social media, but shall build your own unique collection.

I’m good on 1, 2, 5, and 9. Whilst I am generally law-abiding, I suspect retrieving a fountain pen out of a bin at my daughter’s house would count as stealing and I’ve definitely broken fountain pens and been wanton with my purchases. Coveting is a 21st century plague; my immunity cannot be guaranteed.

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